There are periods when we are so consumed by our professional goals that we procrastinate taking care of ourselves, procrastinate paying attention to our children, to our partner, making excuses with having so many “to do” tasks … What are the consequences of that? Are you ready to bear them? And is it worth it?
Usually, we are emotionally involved in our daily routine and in our relations with people. It is difficult to get beyond this emotion and to see the situation objectively. We think that our thoughts are the reality. But the story we tell ourselves comes out to be just one point of view, attached to different fears, emotions, beliefs, and past experiences. Also, we do very often reproduce the expectations of other people instead of living in accordance with our own views. In our everyday life, tasks that seem to be out of our control are flying to us. That creates a sense of stress which blurs reality. Thus, involved in these emotions, we neglect our personal life.
Some time ago I used to live with the above attitude. So when I first met coaching I was really astonished what we were causing to ourselves because it came out that stress is the way we perceive the world. The world and its situations are by themselves neutral. We color them by our emotions and our beliefs. This leads to a decrease in our productivity and objectiveness, and thus – we neglect our personal life. And it is important because inspired personal life is the basic way we get recharged. And if we invest time and resources in the balance of our personal life, we will be repaid in time with health, satisfaction, and sustainability, which is the ground for better professional results and burnout prevention.
What does the professional coach do and how can he/she help you to intentionally create the change you are seeking, in a manner which is quicker in times, than if you would do it by yourself? – I will tell you, both from my personal experience and from my experience with clients.
The professional coach has studied a methodology that is derived from positive psychology, combined further with linguistics, neuroscience, and physiology. Coaching is a methodology, created with the purpose of the development of human potential, and the latter has been proven to thrive in conditions of health and happiness. Thus the professional coach is trained to guide you through a process of discussions in which you intentionally develop yourself, your abilities, your look at situations from afar, from above or in the shoes of someone else, find a way to manage your emotions, find new solutions, be more successful, be more relaxed and be happier. This is a process and a constructive discussion, without any evaluation or any guilt, in which all kinds of emotions are ok. The coach is trained to guide the client to a positive outcome and to a new solution, useful for yourself, as well as for the people around you. Can a friend of yours do that? Based on experience, I do tell you – no, they cannot.
Why does the professional coach not give any advice? – What do you feel when someone gives you any advice? – usually – inner resistance and tension. Why? Because no one knows about your life, your needs, values, desires, wishes, talents, and strengths more than you yourself.
The professional coach is trained to ask questions, which will make you explore and develop this inner potential of yours, overcome difficulties and your inner saboteurs, in order to achieve your goals and wishes. With appropriate exercises he will partner you in finding within yourself new resources in order to increase your confidence and to priorities, to create new habits, to communicate more easily with other people and to become more relaxed. That will reduce your stress, you will become more efficient and due to that, you will make more time available for yourself and for the people close to you. Relaxation comes naturally with the onset of internal change and with finding new solutions that have come from yourself, instead of if you have received them in the form of advice. I have heard people saying “what are friends for but for helping each other”, but honestly speaking – what I am telling you about here is a matter which friends could not bring to us unless they have been trained in coaching methodology. That is the reason why I am using a coach as well. Well, I am a human, although being a coach.
The big difference comes from awareness which coaching provides to us through its exercises and structure of holding discussions. Without awareness, we wouldn’t be able to achieve that change, even though we could really wish to do so. The difference between knowing something and being aware of something is substantial. Awareness comes at a physical level – it is a sort of integration of knowledge. It is quite natural and in the process of our growth we often have such moments. Some people feel it in their bodies as a release, others see it as light, third hear a new inner voice. All of them experience a moment of relief. The coach intentionally helps to speed up in times this process of awareness and change, which is priceless. Through coaching, we seem to grow wisdom and at the same time, we feel more joy and happiness. Positive things come to happen in our lives with ease. From my personal experience and from what my clients have shared with me I can say that the change is steady and the enhancement of life quality is significant. The coaching investment is actually negligible if compared to finding a way to improve our “work-life” balance on time through our inner change. Any change starts from within ourselves and is then manifested in reality. For me, the professional coach is the best partner in that process. Why? – I can sum it up in the following: he/she believes in us, in a way no one else does, he/she leads us to look in the future and through his/her knowledge what questions should be asked (which believe me is a science itself and we are trained what questions and in what manner we should ask in order to be as useful as possible) he/she helps to get a quicker answer to the question “what and how we could make better now, in order to have a better present and a better future from a professional and personal viewpoint at the same time”. This is why I became a coach.
Author: Ivet Pavlova, АСС, NLP Business, and Leadership Coach, wellness approach trainer, financial expert by education, with 15 years of experience in the corporate world prior to becoming a coach.
For almost 5 years I partner entrepreneurs and company leaders through individual coaching and trainings to achieve in a quicker manner their professional aims by simultaneously enhancing their balance in life on time. The results of my clients inspire me to continue to make professional coaching more popular. I believe that in order to make the world we live in a better place, we should first improve ourselves and our relations with the people close to us, our relations with our team and colleagues, in this way to become a positive wave of change. The more people do that, the more positive environment we would create.
FB: Ivet Pavlova – Business Growth & Life Balance