This is the 4th article of the consequence of the article related to confidence that I started in May 2022. Today we are closing this topic by talking about emotions and their relationship with confidence and how to manage them together.
But before that let’s remember what we have covered up to now:
- In the first article, I have invited you to choose 1 area in which you want to improve your confidence and I have given some basic information about confidence. If you have not read it, you can check it here. And you can use all 4 articles to work alone on improving your confidence if you need this.
- In the second and in the third article we have explored the beliefs and the feeling and their impact on our confidence. It is good to read them before going further in this article.
If you are ready, let’s continue.
Probably you know that our thoughts create our emotions. We can change our emotional state by focusing on something else. But our thoughts are also impacted by our beliefs and feelings. That is why sometimes we cannot change our thoughts so easily, hence our emotional state.
For example:
- If you say “I don’t deserve this”, you enter into a negative inner state. It could be resourceful for taking action or unresourceful provoking inaction. If you shift your thoughts and say “I deserve better” you redirect your focus and it creates another inner state – a positive one that is more resourceful. Actually, we experience the shift of our inner state thanks to emotions.
- But if you don’t believe that you deserve better, you will feel it in the body as a hesitation or lie. And this sensation is actually related to a feeling created by a situation in the past. This feeling is stuck inside you. You carry it during your life and it comes out when something reminds you about this past situation. And it impacts your confidence.
Do you want to check for yourself? I invite you to think about the situation in which you want to be more confident:
- Say out loud “I deserve better”. Do you believe it? How does it make you feel? Stay for a while with this sensation. After that shake yourself to release the sensation.
If you feel it is right. Good. We can say that you are confident in regards to this issue.
But if you feel some hesitation, you need to work on your confidence. And this article will help you do it.
So we have two options here:
- Sometimes we cannot shift our thought so easily because we could have negative feelings that keep our beliefs in an unresourceful direction. In such cases we need some healing of these feelings – healing means to release them on the energetic level and then change our beliefs (Something that I help people do with ease using NLP and some other methodologies). After that, we can change our thoughts and we can enhance our confidence.
- Other times we don’t need such deep inner work. We just need to recognize what is going on inside us and we can choose our inner state.
In the previous article, we talked about feelings of fear, guilt, anger, shame, love, and emotional pains that we feel them in our bodies and they have a particular place where we can find them. Emotions are internal states and we cannot feel them in a particular location in our bodies, for example, inspiration, to be in love, sadness, suffering, joy, or happiness.
What is the difference?
I will give an example with the feeling of LOVE. When you love someone you feel it for a long period, usually in your heart. If you are in love today, you may feel it in the whole body without a particular location rather as a state of the spirit even going out of you, as if it is also around you. And you can change your inner state tomorrow if you become disappointed or if the person stops calling you. But if you love her/him you will love them even when they stop calling you, even if you decide to go away because of disappointment, and even if the person passes away. If you really love this person you continue to love them. In these situations, you experience the feeling of love, not the emotion of being in love. If the person disappears from your life you probably experience another emotion – suffering. And your inner state is impacted by the emotion of suffering. Both emotions are connected to one and the same feeling – LOVE. Often our emotions are related to some feelings.
So, suffering is also an emotion and it is related to a deeper feeling. It is easy to understand it when we talk about losing somebody who we love. But how about suffering at work, suffering in our business, suffering from something else? Sometimes we stay in the emotion of suffering for longer periods and it starts to feel like life is suffering. And it impacts our confidence.
But we have a choice. It turns out that we have a choice about our emotions. We can choose to suffer or to take a decision not to suffer. Our feelings could remain the same but we can choose not to suffer. And it is a decision that we can take. This does not mean it is easy to stop suffering. Usually, it is a process of inner work. But it could be very easy as well because it is a choice to decide that you want to be happy and experience joy – these are emotions that provoke a positive inner state, improve our confidence and open us to abundance. But the feeling below these 2 emotions is one and the same – LOVE. It just needs awareness, some knowledge, and some inner work to shift from one to another.
For example in business, sometimes we stay in a negative environment where we experience suffering. This impact us negatively, reduces our confidence, and we complain, and we talk about it with the people around us. Sometimes it is too much for them and they don’t want to listen anymore. And we accumulate more suffering, and it impacts our confidence even more. But actually, we can choose how to continue. We can ask ourselves:
- What do I really want?
- Do I want more joy?
- Do I want more happiness at work and at home?
If yes, we can shift our focus, stop paying attention to the things that caused us suffering, and connect with joy and happiness. It is a decision.
Now I invite you to compare what happens with your confidence if you shift your focus through a decision.
Exercise: Take 2 sheets of paper. Put them on the floor. Write down the emotion “suffering” on one of them, and “joy” on the other one. Make space between them about one big step. Step on the first one and allow your body to feel the emotion of suffering.
- What does happen with your confidence if you are in this emotion? Imagine that you talk with some people. How do you behave? How do you speak? What do you say and how do you say it?
Now go out of this sheet of paper. Shake yourself, shake, shake, shake in order to change your inner state. Now step onto the next sheet of paper with the emotion of joy. Imagine the same people and how you communicate with them through the emotion of joy.
- What does happen with your confidence now? What is the difference? How do you behave? How do you talk? What do you say and how do you say it?
If you can do it with ease, you can use this exercise whenever you need some positive energy and change.
If you cannot do it with ease, probably you need some dipper work regarding your beliefs and feelings, and I would love to support you in this process.
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